For the past two years I have been unable to receive ashes on Ash Wednesday. Last year I had just given birth, this year I was too sick to make it. It was so hard for me both years, although last year was easier to accept. This year I had so many ideas I wanted to prepare for my family for Lent, but God had other plans. For the past three weeks someone was sick in my family. The baby for 2 weeks and then my husband and I for the third week. What a beautiful way to start out the Lenten season when you really have no control over what is happening in your life. This is truly going out into the dessert and just relying solely on God. I have grown so much in the past three days since Lent began. My prayer life has been amazing and the sufferings have brought me to Him right there on the cross. I have several friends who are also struggling with illnesses and I think we all agree that we prefer the ashes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything right now as it was the road I was chosen for.
Now that I am on the upswing again and actually feeling human again. I can really see how much closer to Christ I am when I am suffering. It's hard to let it go, sometimes. I hope to continue this wonderful closeness all throughout the Lenten season and continue my journey to Him in everything I do. The good and the bad, the hard and the easy, the work and the play. It is this that I have learned from these past few days and I pray that it stays this way for the next 37 (not counting Sundays)!
Peace of Christ be with you all!