Monday, February 21, 2011

Being a temple of the Holy Spirit...

I have begun reading the CCC each morning so that I can grow to understand myself and the gift that is the Catholic Church.  This book is definitely a gift.  Each day gives me something concrete to work on, something to think of and pray about and understand more fully.  Now whether I choose to do it is the thing.  God still gives me free will and I want nothing more than to please Him.  For He is the one who Knows me, Loves me and Strengthens me. 

I read an article today about the amazing things that are happening on the campus of Texas A&M and in this article it mentioned a program for the kids about the TV and Internet.  Do you use it unnecessarily?  Now there is a whole lot more to this article, but this one spoke to me personally.  I have an iPad.  I spend too much time playing with it.  I know this and so that is why this article spoke to me.  I have made it a point to cut back on time spent on it, especially if it is unnecessary.  This was how I had begun comparing myself to others.  I love to read people's blogs, I love to peak into their lives.  It is hard for me to give that up.  I am a very social person and feel very left out when things happen without me.  It is time for me to give that up.  "Let it go and let God." ( I love this saying)  It is time for me to look more closely at how we can have a house that functions so that we are not always "wishing" for order, but having order.  We have a very busy schedule and it is hard to find what works.  It's time for me to find what works for our family.  I have read so many books and really did try to tweak them to fit our family, they didn't.  It's time for our own program.

The hardest part of this will be to stop comparing myself to others.  I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, but am I allowing Him to share residence with my soul?  Am I making all the choices, without regards to His guidance?  Do I need to step out of the way and let the Love flow?  I think it's time for me to say "So Long Self!"

So now I will begin each day with the Holy Spirit prayer and ask Our Lord to help me step out of the way...

To the Holy Spirit

Breathe into me, Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Move in me, Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Attract my heart, Holy Spirit, that I may love only what is holy. Strengthen me, Holy Spirit, that I may defend all that is holy. Protect me, Holy Spirit, that I may always be holy. St. Augustine

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Finding the roses of my life...

This  February brings us beautiful weather, beautiful children and lots of spring time opportunities.  I have spent my time since Christmas trying to start planning for next year's school year.  My oldest will be entering high school and we have decided to homeschool for this next part of our and her journey.  While searching through blogs, and visiting with friends I find myself filling with negative thoughts about the "teacher" I am.  Now I have a degree in education so it's not that I am not well trained.  It's just that I look at where my children are and I feel inadequate.  Why do I feel the need to compare them to others?  Why do I feel that they aren't exactly where God has led us?  Why do I question this obviously amazing journey that we are supposed to be on?  I find myself feeling this way and then with all the other pressures of life, I find that I lose my patience.  And it is then where I see my most hurtful self.  These children aren't like anyone else's because they are mine given to me by One who knows so much better than I do.  They were given to me because only I know what's best for them.  We are their parents  because we know just what level they are supposed to be on, and we know what best learning style is theirs.  I know them almost as well as He does.  I love them almost as much as He does.  My life with them isn't supposed to look like anyone else's.  I shouldn't feel badly that my house isn't clean and perfect at all times.  I shouldn't compare myself or my children to those whom I've followed online, or those who I know in real life.

While I've been toying with all of these realizations, the thoughts to stop reading others blogs keeps entering my mind.  What if...I stopped reading others so that I wouldn't compare myself?   When I think about it, I realize that others only let you see what they want you to see.  What if...I started chronicling my thoughts, for me?  What if...I took the time that I spend trying to find inspiration from others and started trying to find it from the One who inspires? What if...I sit down to my own blog and write about my life? My REAL life.  Just for me.  So that I will be able to see that I do have many accomplishments and many things that will inspire me and maybe others.  So my new "challenge" for myself is to sit down and pour out my thoughts that ramble through my head.  Pour out my days so that I will realize that I am a wonderful wife, mother and teacher, and not because of anything I do, but because of what He did and continues to do for me and through me!

So it is with a prayerful heart that I come back to this place of mine in cyberspace to place my thoughts so that I can maybe organize my life better so that I will find peace in Him which is my wish for all of you!

PEACE be with you all!!