Finding the roses of my life...

This  February brings us beautiful weather, beautiful children and lots of spring time opportunities.  I have spent my time since Christmas trying to start planning for next year's school year.  My oldest will be entering high school and we have decided to homeschool for this next part of our and her journey.  While searching through blogs, and visiting with friends I find myself filling with negative thoughts about the "teacher" I am.  Now I have a degree in education so it's not that I am not well trained.  It's just that I look at where my children are and I feel inadequate.  Why do I feel the need to compare them to others?  Why do I feel that they aren't exactly where God has led us?  Why do I question this obviously amazing journey that we are supposed to be on?  I find myself feeling this way and then with all the other pressures of life, I find that I lose my patience.  And it is then where I see my most hurtful self.  These children aren't like anyone else's because they are mine given to me by One who knows so much better than I do.  They were given to me because only I know what's best for them.  We are their parents  because we know just what level they are supposed to be on, and we know what best learning style is theirs.  I know them almost as well as He does.  I love them almost as much as He does.  My life with them isn't supposed to look like anyone else's.  I shouldn't feel badly that my house isn't clean and perfect at all times.  I shouldn't compare myself or my children to those whom I've followed online, or those who I know in real life.

While I've been toying with all of these realizations, the thoughts to stop reading others blogs keeps entering my mind.  What if...I stopped reading others so that I wouldn't compare myself?   When I think about it, I realize that others only let you see what they want you to see.  What if...I started chronicling my thoughts, for me?  What if...I took the time that I spend trying to find inspiration from others and started trying to find it from the One who inspires? What if...I sit down to my own blog and write about my life? My REAL life.  Just for me.  So that I will be able to see that I do have many accomplishments and many things that will inspire me and maybe others.  So my new "challenge" for myself is to sit down and pour out my thoughts that ramble through my head.  Pour out my days so that I will realize that I am a wonderful wife, mother and teacher, and not because of anything I do, but because of what He did and continues to do for me and through me!

So it is with a prayerful heart that I come back to this place of mine in cyberspace to place my thoughts so that I can maybe organize my life better so that I will find peace in Him which is my wish for all of you!

PEACE be with you all!!

Time flies...

I think it is time for me to admit that I am not going to be one of those mom's who blogs often.  I would love to.  The ideas are always flowing through my mind and I think "oh, I would love to document this moment so it is there forever."  But then Life Happens.  For the most part, I am a busy mom of four very active children.  I homeschool them, and although I hate to admit it, I am inconsistent.  I find it very hard to stick to things.  I come up with awesome plans, and then I get sick.  I map out our week, and then find that we have to add things to it.  It is time for me to make habits.  I have studied Charlotte Mason for about a year and a half now and I think I am just now realizing how important the habits are that she so eloquently talks about.  I finally get it!

I have begun new habits with the help of Fly Lady.  Keeping in mind the baby steps.  Using the time that I have been given.  I signed up for the emails and started looking into it about a month ago.  It was overwhelming so that was it.  I just deleted them all.  Then one day I stopped and actually read one.  It was a flight plan for the next week.  The bathroom zone.  I thought "I sure would love to have a clean bathroom."  So I tried it out.  It was amazing!  My bathroom has been clean for over a week.  No clutter, no grime.  It takes less than 3 minutes a day.  The next zone was the Master bedroom.  I was so excited!  No clutter in MY bedroom!  Bring it on!  Well, unfortunately the only thing that came was a virus.  I've spent the last week in bed.  Instead of feeling discouraged, I thought "I can still do this."  So, with the help of my very organized 10 year old, we conquered the night stand yesterday.  It is so freeing to get rid of clutter  and keep only the necessities.  Today the dresser!

It truly is all about baby steps.  This journey we are on is taken one step at a time.  So if this finds you walking up a big mountain, know that you can cross it.  Just take it one step at a time and enjoy letting Him take every step with you.

St Therese...pray for us!!