Lately I have been feeling very inadequate in so many ways. Around the house, in the school room, as a wife. Now in all fairness life has been very full and stressful, but that stress has left us now and I still feel like I'm so far behind in everything. I feel that my spiritual life needs to be so much more. I feel like I'm searching and searching trying to find inner peace. Then at Mass on Saturday night, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. We always need to be searching because once the search is over, we have reached our destination. Once we reach the end of the journey, we're home. I want my home to be in Heaven with our Lord. I need Him to be complete. We are all on our own journeys, but they will all lead us home if we choose the right road to follow. I guess what I realized is that I should never feel adequate. If I did, then where would I have left to go? I always need to improve myself, I always need to grow. It is when we stop growing that we die and I really don't want to die. I want to live eternally with My Father in Heaven. My creator who calls me to Him every day. I just need to live in the moment and follow the journey He leads me on. Do the best that I can do and realize that I need to search, and I need to be more than who I am now. It is only through Christ that I find strength and peace. I need to see myself through His eyes. It is for Him that I live, serve and love.
Enjoy your journey and find peace along the way.
2 comments:
I have been thinking about Linda so much lately. The peace that came over her as she reached the end of her life was so beautiful. She kept saying that she was "Beautiful", she saw herself the way God saw her. I long for that. It is just as you described here. I feel so blessed to have that longing.
She was sending me the message at Mass. Larry and the kids were there and I started thinking about how he said he never feels sad at the cemetary because he knows she's not there. He misses her at Mass most because that is where she is. It was her that led me to the ton of bricks. I though how she did end her journey and I want so much to end my journey here, just like she did!
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